Aug 1, 2019
I want to transcend into another world a world we both create, where there is nobody but us, our meeting hearts and souls.
And your love is my drug. I cannot get enough of you and you of me. And we are connecting. First from our glances, to touch to kisses and intimate caresses. Floating in ecstasy. One and always.
I am such a romantic. I remember times I would try to deny this about myself. Because of all the hurt and pain. To be more logical yet in the end I always return back to my dreams. Miss Daydream. Miss I'm Stuck In Imaginationland night and day leading to my random skipping. If you catch me in a skip you know. I could write on and on about romance. I'm smiling as I pen this, I know myself. My needs and desires. My hopes and wishes. I search for love everywhere. I want to share my love and I want to create love. I want to learn about love and I want to be in love. And yet I am a bit scared of love. Love involves trust. The big T word. Hmm...I’ve never been in love. The greatest feeling in the world.
Infatuation perhaps. Naivety yes. Idealism sure.
Problems of being a romantic. Le sigh...
Would I be classified as a helpless romantic or a hopeful romantic? Is it foolishness? I've had my share of tragic relationships. Me who has dated several times till the point I stopped. I believe it will come to me now. Not to chase it anymore because I went about it the wrong way. I was too young to understand.
Have you seen Black Mirror? There are couple episodes where you'd venture into an unrealistic world, with the magnet that sticks to your head. There is one episode in the latest season. I saw such a notion in Inception as well, the scene the chemist was being recruited. If there ever was such a thing, I would be hooked. I could live out all my fantasies, how epic would that be! I must not be the only one that thinks this way.
A lot of people want to have sex with me. I've known this from a young age.
I’ve had a lot of sex and not a lot of love making. The later I'd enjoy more.
The former can be going through motions. It can be an outer body experience like an outsider looking in or I have left my body. Or depending on the situation I enjoy it if done by the right person in the right way. Lets both sate these animalistic tendencies. I am respected. We both feel good afterwards or I feel hella good ahaha. Thanks. Then there are people who get it wrong.
Often they are selfish or have no clue what to do or both. And yes I get the selfish part, after all I am an object to some, so it's ok...I tell myself.
Then there could be other technical issues.
Which is all normal, there is nothing to be ashamed off. Stress, fatigue, medication, so many things come into play. I am a very understanding young lady.
I’ve had some people ask me about it and I tell them it is normal. Even men in their 20s. There's no need to feel insecure and if so much there are pills or shots to help with maintenance. That being said even some people who partake in such are terrible lovers. I haves tons of stories of TERRIBLE sex. *Cringes*
Gosh it was one of the worst sexual experience for me. Where I could almost punch a person. Ahahaha, I wasn't laughing then though.