Childhood Wishes. Coming of age?


For some reason I'm reminiscing today. I had a conversation recently about wishes and here I am thinking of myself. Is this what happens when you age? I find myself thinking about the younger me.

A long time ago, as a little girl, I wanted so many things. Guess life didn't quite turn out as I dreamt, look at me know, doesn't mean I can't still work on what is achievable.

-I wanted to be a pilot. I still do want to fly a plane some day, but honestly, I'm scared of those propeller planes. I was in one for the first time en route to Curaçao, I don't want to experience that again but it's inevitable transferring between islands, I It was much bigger than a two seater though, no Amelia Earhart here.

-I wanted to be an explorer. There was a show I watched when I was younger and this man would travel all over the world and meet different people and animals and eat food in the wild.I remember one particular episode he was in Africa and reached into this wide honey beehive and pulled out a honeycomb and ate it, there were bees everywhere, he was fearless. I wish I could remember his name, it's so many years ago and it might probably be from the 70s. I watched this in Nigeria on Channels. So if you know what I'm talking about, let me know, it was one of my favorite childhood shows. Kinda like how all these shows now are on Discovery, Travel and Food network but this was back then. Then as a birthday gift, I got a book filled with animals (it got stolen), I really loved that book, it had so many pictures, descriptions and drawing. I was really into animals, I still am, but I’m not interested in being a vet or working at at zoo.

I love anything that has to do with travel, adventure, meeting and interacting with people, exploring the culture, learning about them everywhere and food. Epic experiences. International relations. I should have my own show, I’m quite entertaining. It would be a dream. If only...I’ve had a dslr on my wishlist for about 3 years now.

-I also wanted to be a singer to draw and to dance.

When I told my folk about my artsy dreams they shut them all down, if you know African parents, doctor, lawyer or engineering 😂They said don’t do any business major. Business to them means open up a shop which my mom told me she would do when I also told her I wanted to be a chef. "You don’t need school for that" she said. 😂I won’t make the same mistake with mine, I will never shut their dreams down. I stopped drawing because of them, they said it was artists do not make money and to be serious, do a science. I was a really imaginative child, I still am as an adult. I absolutely enjoyed writing, I still do, I write in my pastime now, in my diary, I haven’t released a blog in over a year now. It became a trend and I’m not into that, plus a lot of things I write currently are dark but raw and honestly just how I feel, not so much marketing. It's one of my dreams to release a book about me, life goals.

I haven’t written fiction in a while, back then I would write and illustrate. I wish I still had my old writing from back then, there were some insane stories I wrote but you know no internet then and what does a kid do? I'm very much interested in reading them. I did some song writing but now that I think about it, they were so stupid. I was bored and wanted to write, and thinking about it, cringes. " Pop girl looking for a new world" I remember that one. I haven't attempted song writing in years. Must not be my forté.

-The two years I lived here, I got my blue passport, I had a friend and we both write Sailor Sticks, our spoof off Sailor Moon and we would animate it too. That was when I thought hey I could be an animator. When you used to draw cartoons by hand and not computer lol, that made me want to be an animator, it was a Sailor Moon spoof, but they were sticks, it was much easier to animate ahahaha. Then I had a account and boy oh boy the fanfics I wrote. Harry Potter, Card Captor Sakura, Sailor Moon. I loved that site. I loved reading others works, a lot of creative writers.

I always felt naughty when I read the NC-17 fics. I'd filter it that way first be cause why not, why a PG, PG-13 fanfic when I could read more and be excited! That was till they got rid of it and left it at M. I still read those(M became NC-17 with some writers. I didn't understand the difference). Imagine a young preteen-teen me reading NC-17 ahaha. I learned a lot of things. How do females come of age? We read adult literature, or maybe just me. Harold Robbins, Danielle Steel comes to mind. I vividly remember reading some parts over and over of some books. I can't remember the name. In one particular novel, Carpetbaggers, a young girl was adopted after being orphaned, and she grew up beautiful, and she knew it, she would constantly tease her brother, knew he was being a peeping tom after she left the beach to take a shower and left the door open, he eventually raped her, but himself and her adopted parent died in a boating accident. Stiletto was another hot one. I raided that hidden closet of books my mom kept away. I knew they would have adult work so I would read them to find it, or the graphic book about human sexuality, pregnancy, periods and vagina, womanhood, all so fascinating, drawing and all.

#erotica #writerlife #emotions #dreams #writtenword #incest

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