Stepping back. Anxiety?

July 14 2017

I’ve been slowing taking myself of social media.

I don't have it in my personal life and only reason I do now is for marketing and a little socialization/networking. Stepping back will be good for me to open up more free time.

Some people get direct flights and some people get layovers long or short but at the end of the day you still get to your desti

My insecurity, not being good enough. I absolutely hate the feeling. It's brings me pain. I don't care about other girls body etc. Beauty that doesn't faze me, I'm more concerned with myself. Just want more for myself and life is hard, it's always been rocky for me. Beauty curse CURSE. I am either unapproachable or assumptions are made about me.

Some people don't grow up being called beautiful and there are some who do. Your outcome depends.

Beautiful comment is just meh to me honestly. I don't care, tell me something I don't know. Less superficial.

Social Observance

I look at them and smile internally at the foolishness or humble brags. Lies. A lot of people are delusional. I said it and I don't care, just truth. Sometimes I am delusional. My fantasy thoughts can be dumb, but they do bring me joy for the little time, you know wishful thinking, what if and why?

People moving on knowing their destiny and myself still questioning. I do know the end goal but the in between? The struggle of pleasing others. Am I pleasing myself? Being stronger, wiser, deep. I am lost often in thought.

I could die today thoughts because you never know. Really need to stop messing with these thoughts. It's all a mental think really. Anxiety? Is it really is a thing, my overthinking? I’ve often thought it’s just American mumbo jumbo and another excuse to take pills.

When I feel depressed, I just write or call/talk to someone it helps rather than pills, I don’t believe in medication, honestly do not like being put in an altered state of mind, I would rather be myself than a zombie. I work out, endorphins you know helps a little. I'm an emotional person and I let it out, it helps me. Happy or sad cry, it doesn't mean your weak but very strong.

#writerlife #anxiety #personal #EliseJolie

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