Attention...Personal Space

February 24, 2017

 

What can I say, I like to keep a low profile everywhere I go be it in my daily life, checking in hotels or going on dates however for some reason I can't get attention off me. Most times it's unwanted attention. I understand some ladies love this but in my experience, it can be a bit uncomfortable. I will draw a few incidences that occurred to me this past summer in which I was warranted unwanted attention.

 

Chicago trip seat partner

I really value my time and my space and when that void is interrupted I'm not quite happy about it. Some Uber drivers are guilty of this. I'm one of those that wishes they would just take me to my destination and not pry into my life. I admit there are times I'm in the mood to chat, very rarely, but then these drivers have something that sparks my interest. Conversations might go on for a few minutes and that's it. Some just want to chat my ears off. Sorry I'm an introvert and sorry I don't want to talk because I'm tired, it's 3am in the morning and we're heading to the airport. You get that right? Just do your job.

 

On this issue of personal space, I've had several incidences where they have been breached.

This particular one I'm about to share is about my seat partner on an early flight to Chicago. If you know me, you know I'm always on an early flight. Anyway, I get to my gate and this man is staring at me hard. I don't think much about it, you know, what are the odds that we'd be seat partners. My odds failed me that day, what a surprise! He was so enamourned with me. He instantly told me he was happy I was his partner. That I was beautiful, where am I from, am I a model blah blah blah. I was thinking oh boy, one of those that don't shut up. I was polite enough to respond, turns out he was flying from Nigeria, I knew immediately because I picked up the accent. He was pleased I was a fellow and invited me to come "home", that I could open up a shop and set up fashion biz, just anything to keep conversation. If you're not Nigerian you really don't understand Nigerian men, depending on the tribe. I can't even explain. Very direct and forward. Culture is very different. This guy did not get social context clues or he chose to ignore them in order to pursue me Americana (yes Americana this is not a typo, little slang). In goes my earphone into my ears. I put on a movie, I think it was Dead pool I watched that flight (it was interesting to say, I didn't expect it to be so crude) but that was short lived because he tapped on me to chat some more, I pull out and earphone and was like what? I've never been interrupted like that on a flight it was bizzare. But that didn't stop him. Towards the end of the flight when I woke up from a little nap because he was holding my hand. He goes you have beautiful hands and nails. I feel bad that I didn't even bring this harrasssment to the flight attendants attention because I thought it was minor but it was one of my most uncomfortable plane rides. Telling me he was watching me sleep did not help.

 

Creep meter went up. I couldn't wait to get off that flight sure enough as soon as the doors came open I bolted out. You might be thinking Jeez what a creep, glad that's over for you but no no no there is more. Unfortunately for me while I was trying to find my way to baggage claim, yes forgot my glasses  he caught up to me. Then he wanted to trade numbers. Back in the day with less technology I was able to give random numbers I'd remember and you know never have my phone on me and they couldn't call me, that trick worked like a charm. These days everyone has phone in hand so can't escape I gave it to him. Me doing that doesn't me I'll ever answer  Reminds me of an incident while grocery shopping. I will elaborate on that once I'm done with this. Then he reached for my bag handle. I was like I can hold my bag my self. Gosh it as so awkward he really wanted to be my friend he said, I'm an African girl we don't do things like this, the women want the men to hold stuff for them or do stuff that I should let him roll my bag so no weight on me since we were going to the same baggage claim. Well I only brought a carry on with me and got forced to go there. He also wanted to share a cab since we both were going downtown. So Elise to test this "gentlemans "dinero. Once we got in the cab, I asked him are we splitting the fare? He was like yes lol.

 

You're wanting to be my friend and wanting things from me but you can't treat me on this $40 cab ride that I could have taken solo and paid full price, get out of here lol. You won't be meeting with me ever, he had some nerve to invite me to his hotel to hang out and get dinner. I'd be expecting to go Dutch. What a fool. My stars shines once I got to my hotel, minimum traffic too. Sorry and thanks again for my most uncomfortable plane ride. I thought that is the cab pulled away.

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