A good place to think is in the shower, well at least for me, showers take erhem... quite a while.

I'll be a year older next month and my yearly ritual to reflect on my past. I don't do it intentionally but as the dates grows closer all these memories pop into my head. I decided to share some with you.

Life has been pretty interesting. In the quarter of a century I've been breathing I've been through through a lot be it riots, armed robbery. I remember being teased about my full lips, my "light skin" (they use to call me yellow, like MTN yellow or asked if I bleached), eye robot cause of my huge eyes, lepa shandy/bonga fish because I was skinny, yam legs because my calves were tone, bedroom voice etc. People are fickle. It didn't bother me much, it was a common thing then, adolescence was so annoying. Its funny how these traits are so desirable now.

Wanting to sing, I wrote really silly songs now that I think about it, the lyrics sound so childlike. I would wrote almost everyday my tracks and then fantasize.

Changing schools a bit as a child. Making friends was temporary.

I remember my art teacher disappointed in me while I was in junior secondary school. My exam calabash wasn't selected for regionals because I didn't finish my work. My parents pushed me towards science and any art thing was child's play so I focused more on that while studying. I should explain more. I'm not sure how the school system is now cause there has been changes but there is junior secondary and senior secondary. 3 years for each. In the 3rd year, you have an exam to pass out, either move on to senior secondary or if your in senior secondary to graduate, it's was a West African exam not a school given one. like PSAT, SATS. In junior secondary it was mandatory to take all courses while in senior you could focus on certain area, art, science/tech and commercial. I was hoping to be in science so I focused really hard on that during exam period. My instructor called me and told me the news, it was so devastating.

Track meet when my shoe fell off and I lost, the floor was so hot, but had to keep running till i finished.

Being a tomboy (is that surprising?) much more extrovert when I was younger and stubborn. I had a

matching Sonic tshirt and short it was my favorite, 2nd to my aqua blue spiral skirt. I had my fair share of male and female clothes. I wore dresses when my mom made me. I gradually started changing. I fully got out of it at 10, I had my first crush then, I still remember his name (This tale will need more detail, I'll save it for some other time.)

My family still comments on this change that they are surprised. When I say family I mean all, extended as well and family friends. That they can't believe this is the same Elise from so many years ago.

As a child I attended a Protestant school in my neighborhood, the Catholic school with church I attended was far but I had lessons there in the evening during the weekend. I got different religious perspectives. In school it wasn't just one denomination, anyone could attend, Muslims, even non believers, it was just school with the "extra" services i.e you had to attend Church assembly every morning, you had to have Bible Knowledge/Christian Religious Knowledge/ Christian Religious Studies and attend fellowship every Friday. I recall a day assembly was "rowdy" and we all got punished, had to pray the whole day no class, because we were "possessed" (some teachers would call you demons, possessed, witches), it was insane. Anyways, CRS(see above for abbreviation full) was mandatory until your senior secondary school. My younger sister was 8 then and I was 12. She had an interesting report card. We still make jokes about it till today, she hates it but it's hilarious. The test question went: Why was Zachariah dumb? My sister replied because he drank palm wine. (google is your friend) I can only imagine how hard her teacher laughed. And my mom, oh she showed everyone that test. She still has it today, over 10yrs to look at and laugh when she's in a poor mood. Do you keep your kids tests or drawings from childhood? Id love to see that at her graduation or wedding. You know how they have those slide shows sometimes of the couple. Classic. Writing can be such a powerful thing and elicit a lot of emotions.

Changing my age to access 18 plus sites ( I was really happy when I became "legal")

While I was in college I participated in a charity even called The Undierun. It's basically what it's name says. You donate the clothes off your back and run 1.6 miles. It was a fun day. I'll never forget because I flashed the crowd. You read that right. I was a sophomore then. My friend invited me to hang out and said we should do the event. Coincidentally we both wore animal print underwear so we entered a few "competitions" they had. Called ourselves cheetah girls, we didn't win that. (This occurred before the run). She egged me to enter sexiest girl contest(solo contest) I did for fun, I wasn't expecting to win. So you had to get on stage and form a line when it was your turn you'd have to do some showcase I guess flirt with the crowd, you know how all these contests go. I remember a couple of sorority girls in it and there was a particular blond with huge man-mades. They looked amazing! She was leaning over and rubbing her tits and I was thinking why don't you just show them so I did just that when it was my turn. Turn of events. The crowd went nuts. The MC was like wait he missed that and I did it again. It was bananas. So I won $100 Cindies giftcard. My friend was also friends with my older sister and she told me she wouldn't tell her but she was surprised I could do something like that. It was a ritual to have an after party, occurred at frat. I went to it later that evening. It was the frat behind my apartment throwing it luckily. I invited another friend to meet there, found out she was a slut that night. That night was a wild one, but that tale is for another day.

The list goes on, there's so much I can think off, I wish I could write them all down. At times I wish for a time machine to erase or correct errors of my past but it'd cause a butterfly effect at the same time I wish there was a device that could read my thoughts as I think and store it somewhere I could go back and read. Sometimes I have random thoughts that make me smile I'd like to remember those, could be for a fleeting second. Do we all wish for this?

Your Pensive Doll,


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