Healing and Cleansing My Mind and Soul-Open Letter
Aug 2 2019 Disclaimer- As per the previous post "Friendships and Expectations" I discovered lot of things... and I am happy I sent that. I completely understand where you are coming from even up to last week I had not been open about the real reason for my hiatus. It really it was to get away because I had reached an extreme low point again and I had had it. Since then I’ve completely pulled back and deleted everything fully committed to my hiatus. Even in my invalid bed, peo
Childhood Wishes. Coming of age?
8/21/2018 For some reason I'm reminiscing today. I had a conversation recently about wishes and here I am thinking of myself. Is this what happens when you age? I find myself thinking about the younger me. A long time ago, as a little girl, I wanted so many things. Guess life didn't quite turn out as I dreamt, look at me know, doesn't mean I can't still work on what is achievable. -I wanted to be a pilot. I still do want to fly a plane some day, but honestly, I'm scared of th
Emotional Rant. Open Letter
Aug 27, 2018. What is wrong? A lot of things, just in a really bad place mentally. I stopped working a few months now cause I don’t want it to affect me. Feeling really depressed. I want so much yet it feels out of reach even though I try. I feel so much burden. And I want love, to be accepted, appreciated, fulfilled, to feel special yet even though I’m nice or so it just seems like it’s not going to happen. When do I get a chance? Then the people who hate me for no reason. I
Elise VS rude MOFO behind me Passport Control Storytime. I always put them in their place
June 9, 2018 It's bright and early, 6am in the morning at St Pancreas. I'm heading to Paris for the weekend. It would be my first time there and I'm thoroughly excited except I have 2 heavy suitcases with me at the train station. You can imagine me dragging them onto the platform, but that is another tale. It is also my first time traveling by rail and I'd been looking forward to it. Should I explain the luggage? 1) I'm female 2) I had a photoshoot in London that week so I ha
Really Sad
November 16, 2017 I form bad habits I'm not comfortable writing about but it's comforting to me that moment. Something I can control. I also hate it at the same time. Actually that is a harsh word More like regret. I really need help. I battle with food. So there I admit it. On and off for yrs. I hate the fact that I've relapsed, I was good for over a year. I figure I’ve never really been free. It is upsetting. I hope the next time I read this or write I'll be clean and in a
Indiana Airport Storytime. A Belligerent Drunk Encounter
August 2017 I had a fly me to you, my return home was uneventful, in fact it was the first I’d ever experienced this at an airport. I have had several funny incents during my travels, remember the one with the cozy seat partner (link here) this is far left from that. Back to the story. I had arrived at the airport and checked in, close to the boarding time, it was a really small airport and I headed to my gate. I maneuvered my way till I approached and area where there was op
Kissing
July 23 2017 Kissing is a dance, it is an art, it is beautiful when done it's right, the perfect rhythm, the perfect lip-tongue ratio, and some teasing here and there and I thoroughly enjoy it. There is so much passion, so much unspoken words especially if I’m into you, warm fuzzy feeling creeping all over me. French kissing, oh boy, now some people believe because they've heard/read the definition of French it's a legit "stick your tongue in", and the entire tongue to reach
Stepping back. Anxiety?
July 14 2017 I’ve been slowing taking myself of social media. I don't have it in my personal life and only reason I do now is for marketing and a little socialization/networking. Stepping back will be good for me to open up more free time. Some people get direct flights and some people get layovers long or short but at the end of the day you still get to your desti My insecurity, not being good enough. I absolutely hate the feeling. It's brings me pain. I don't care about oth
Turks and Caicos mini Adventure
March 2017 Turks. I was having lunch on the beach with my dive buddy after a long day out at sea, diving sure does make me ravenous and honestly, the food was just ok and really basic continental carribean hotel food, you know, just bleh, the local food I tried was amazing (real local not tourist local) but we were both hungry so no complaining, suddenly, the table next to mine sat two individuals. Eventually, we got engaged in a conversation. They were also on a diving tri
Valentine's Rape
Going though my past writing to edit for publishing, I came across this unsent letter I felt so much pain reading it, in fact now as I’m writing my breathing is heavy and so is my heart, I am transported back to that awful scenario that I locked away. So many things have happened in my journey I just want the pain to go away. Feb 26, 2017 This is reason why victims never speak up because they are afraid. He paid for my time and not for the perceived pleasure of raping me. Man